What gets lost when we treat conversations like transactions | Khaya Dlanga

Key Points

• The Zulu greeting "Sawubona" means "We see you," signifying a deep acknowledgment of a person's entire being and history.
• Authentic, non-transactional conversation and storytelling are powerful tools for genuine human connection and making people feel truly seen.
• Sharing personal stories across cultural perspectives, like different interpretations of the moon's surface, enriches understanding without one narrative being superior.
• Over-reliance on technology for connection can paradoxically increase loneliness and isolation, as illustrated by a personal tragedy involving family loss.
• While AI can perform many tasks, it cannot replicate the essential human capacity for heartfelt, empathetic connection through shared stories and presence.

Summary

In this TED Talk, Kaya Shanga explores the profound human need for connection through the lens of the Zulu greeting "Sawubona," which translates to "We see you." This greeting embodies a holistic acknowledgment of an individual, encompassing their stories, ancestors, and full presence. Shanga argues that the most powerful interactions are simple, non-strategic conversations and stories told purely for the sake of human connection, free from transactional agendas or hidden KPIs.

He illustrates this through three personal narratives. The first recounts a memorable lunch with actor William Shatner, where Shatner's generous, deeply attentive listening made Shanga feel profoundly seen, an experience he describes as priceless. The second story recalls a childhood moment in post-apartheid South Africa, where he and a white friend discovered they saw different images in the moon's surface—a woman with a bucket versus a man. This highlighted how different cultural stories can coexist as equally valid truths, emphasizing the importance of embracing multiple narratives to build bridges.

The third, and most poignant, story reveals a personal tragedy: his brother's suicide due to an isolating addiction to online gambling, followed by his mother's death from heartbreak. This underscores the talk's central warning about technology's double-edged sword; while it promises connection, it can also foster profound loneliness by replacing real human interaction.

Shanga concludes by asserting that while artificial intelligence may automate many tasks, it can never replicate the essential human act of connecting heart-to-heart. True humanity, he posits, is found in the simple, sacred act of connecting for connection's own sake, through conversation and storytelling that makes others feel truly seen and present with one another.